Whose Fault is It? | Teaching Self-Government

Whose Fault is It?


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About five years ago I met a couple who seemed to have happiness in marriage completely figured out.  They shared some of their secrets with me.  One of them has made a huge impact on our home.  It is called Odd and Even days.

 "On the even days of the month everything bad that happen is my fault.  On the odd days of the month everything bad that happens is my husband's fault. 

If I lock my keys in my car and have to be rescued on May 3rd, it is my husband's fault.  He would say something like, 'Honey, I am so sorry that I locked your keys in the car.  Can you forgive me?'

The reverse is also true.  When we were on vacation my husband wasn't used to the streets he was driving, so I was often saying, 'Honey, I am so sorry that I got us lost again.  It's my fault.'

My children have also adopted the same policy.  All girls get the even days and all boys get the odd days.  My son figured out that there are more odd days in a year though; and often two odd days come back to back.  He is such a smarty and a gentleman. 

This little game that our family plays puts us in the right attitude.  When someone makes a mistake, it isn't a big deal.  We all laugh about who's fault it was and move on with our day; often more united because of the game.  This game puts you for a second into the other person's shoes, and you feel compassion.  It is a great way to learn to see the other person's side.

 Try it.  It's fun.  Sometimes we forget about the game.  That's OK too.  But, then I find myself thinking negative thoughts about my spouse instead of being compassionate.  This is when I know it's time to play the Odd and Even game again."

Although this may not work for everyone, it is important to remember to love your spouse and be willing and ready to take the blame for something that truly is your fault. Be humble and loving.

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